Scrolling through Groups and Clubs, I notice some odd thread titles: 'the cult of birdy', 'The cult Of words' and 'Diz’s nice, spam-free, pleasantly-normal, sandwich not-cult'. What are these threads? Why the sudden obsession with cults? I had the same question, however, I'm too shy to ask anyone about it. So instead, let's trawl through the forums and find out.
The Cult Of Birdy and the Turtle Army were both founded on July 17, 2019, by Nano users free_birdy and blueturtle247, respectively. Some degree of playful animosity exists between the two groups, however, on July 18, the two leaders made a pact. When they took over the world, the Turtles would rule the seas, the Birdies would have the sky, and the earth itself would exist as a middle ground. World domination appears to be a common theme in these cults. This is also seen in the Cult of Words.
The Cult of Words was founded on September 8 by damwords. While they're relatively new, they've jumped right on the world domination bandwagon, and have already posted a list of various real-world individuals they must assassinate in order to take control. In fact, they've even stated that they intend to take over the universe, a plan far grander than any other. I, for one, look forward to watching this cult's progress.
Finally, we have the 'not-cult' of Sandwiches, which was founded by Diz on July 19, who goes to great pains to assure us this group is not in any way a cult, nor is she a cult leader. Of course, most real cults insist they aren't cults, so this statement may not be as true as it seems. However, most of the small conversation in the thread is contained exclusively to the topic of sandwiches, and seems to have no association with the Turtles, the Birdies, or the Cult of Words. Perhaps they are as innocuous as they seem.
Hey, you might say. This seems cool? How do I become a cult leader? Good question! It seems to be fairly simple. First, you create a thread in Groups and Clubs. You should also have any new members pledge their loyalty to you and your cause. After you've accumulated some members, you might find yourself performing "raids" on various threads, where all the members of a cult post frequently on a specific thread, or on a counting thread where you fight against your rivals to assert dominance. Finally, of course, you try to take over the world. That's what cults are really for, after all.
Now, if you excuse me, I'm off to plot my own eventual world domination. This is Architeuthid, signing off.
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